Be your Best for your Horse wth Katie Rose

I’m Shelby Olyschlager. This is we can hustle and we are barrel racers. Join us on our journey to personal growth for us and our horses together. We can hustle while things sure got real. In this episode, guys, me and a friend got together to go over. Why our mental state outside of the arena really affects us in the arena and on our horses. So we uncovered our own struggles we’ve had facing this and how we were able to overcome our own personal struggles to better our horses and better our time with our horses. So I hope you enjoy this episode. If you do, please subscribe, but let’s begin today. We have an exciting friend guest that I’m talking with today. Katie McAlpine is here and she approached me with a bit of a question concern, thought that she had, and it had to do with obviously barrel racing and how things affect us.

Speaker 1:
So Katie, if you’d like, please introduce yourself and just a bit of a backstory to what we were talking about before. Yeah. So I’m Katie. Um, and if anyone doesn’t know me, you maybe know my horse, she’s a keeper. Uh, she’s pretty special to me. Uh, anyway, I was just like talking to Shelby and I was like going through some old pictures because like, there’s not a whole lot else to do right now, but I was going through some old pictures and I was looking at pictures from two years ago, two and a half years ago. And like, then a lot has changed in my life and like the past two and a half years, um, just like personal struggles and things. So that’s really affected my writing. And I saw a picture from two and a half years ago and I was like, Holy, like, I’ve come a long way in my riding.

Speaker 1:
And like, I was like, what, why is that? Like, I kind of started examining it. And I was like, you know what? I think it was because I actually started putting a lot of work into my mental health. And I think that really started to affect my horse. And like, now that I’m not riding as much. And like, I was just thinking about my career, I was like, wow. Okay. Like, that’s really cool. And I think that’s something really important that people miss. Yeah, exactly. And that’s kind of cool. Like I love using video and pictures to reflect because a lot of the times as riders, we don’t even know what’s going on. So we might be quick to blame something or beat up our horse a little bit and being like, why isn’t this working or what’s going on? It’s just like a bad ride or a bad deal.

Speaker 1:
And when we look back at our pictures, it’s so cool to see the progress. And I mean, like fitness people do that. And I think there’s a big reason because it shows you, like you said, like how far you’ve come. And especially if you were like, if there’s troubling times in your personal life, I totally feel like I’ve gone through that of, and that’s like you, how you are outside of the arena and away from your horse tells so much about how you’re going to do and perform. But like, you can’t like you can’t cut it off. You like, I mean, some people are like really good trainers and they’re really awesome. But as like an individual, maybe not as much where I still think like you need to have a like mental capacity to be a performer in order to really have that kind of translate over to your writing.

Speaker 1:
So was there anything in particular that was going on that you felt affected kind of how you were performing with your horse or how you’re just riding around in general? Yeah. So through like examining my own life, I realized one, I am not a patient person. Like that is very hard for me. Like who knows to all of you guys who ride babies and like two year olds and three year olds. And like the patients you put with them, like I’m not a patient person. And I think that really affected keeper because she needs that she is a very anxious horse and like, she needs me to be patient with her and something else that I learned, I’m a very anxious person. Like, so then it’s almost like if I got anxious and I went to the barn and I was already anxious, like she knew before I even put her halter on like how I was feeling.

Speaker 1:
So I go into that and expect her to give me a good ride when I’m not giving her my clarity in my mind. Like if I’m not giving her my full mental attention and I don’t have the space to go to the barn and give her the attention she needs, because she’s a high performer and overachiever, like I need to be able to be there for her, not be a perfectionist. That’s another one of my struggles. So like just take the small wins and like just being able to slow down and just, I don’t know. It took me so long to even just be able to walk on a loose rein and be like, trust her, not, and like, not be anxious. And like, I don’t know, that took a really long time. And I think like coming with my mental state, I was able to be like, okay, I need to not pick on her when I go to the barn today because I’m in a bad mood.

Speaker 1:
I need to take this time and go and enjoy the time with my horse and like, love honor and make sure she knows how much I appreciate her. And like, it’s okay. Like, you don’t need to be anxious. You don’t need to always try and be pleasing me because like, that’s not healthy for her. And then when we go to competition and we’re both anxious, let’s not going to turn out the way with the result that we want. Yeah. I love that. You said so many things. They’re like, first of all, at the beginning, just being the writer and person and owner, your horse needs at that time. Like if you’re not that person it’s so impossible to which, I mean, we do that, but it’s unfair to expect them to not act anxiously or feel your energy when you’re delivering it. Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
And I always feel that way. It’s like, we’re the ones that kind of ultimately are in control. And like, you know, you show up kind of more relaxed and like, Hey, this is you kind of visualize and think, okay, this is what my date and my ride’s going to be like, I’m going to appreciate and just have gratitude for the opportunity to go see your horse. Right. And then when you kind of alter your mind a bit, instead of like, Oh, we’re going to pick and I want this perfect. And whatever, if you’re a perfectionist, like you’re not going to quit until it’s done. And then at the end, it’s kind of like, did we actually accomplish what we set out? Was it a win? Yeah. Right. So, so that’s really good. What, um, so moving forward, you just kinda changed your mental state with that, or was it more of a PR like a, a progress that you had to do outside of the arena in order to really feel that change?

Speaker 1:
I had to do. Yeah. A lot of work on myself outside of the arena, because I realized that like my anxieties and my perfectionistic tendencies and like the fact that I’m not a patient person, like that stems from something else, not from my horse. And like, I don’t want to go to the barn and put a bigger bit on my horse and piss her off because I’m feeling that way. That’s not fair to her. Like, I think it’s really important to like evaluate ourselves outside of the arena. So we’re giving our horses the fair chance and we’re not taking our baggage onto them. Kind of just like any other relationship. Wow. I love that. That’s so true. And it like that is like, I liked that so much. Cause it’s like, it’s game changing when you think of it like that. It seriously is. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
And that’s what I want to show people is that if you switch that or if you actually take the responsibility of acknowledging your weaknesses and your strengths and how you are going to affect your horse, it totally changes everything. I think like for me as well, like I’ve worked on myself and like, it’s just such a, it’s such a personal battle because the sport is very independent. Like it’s not like soccer or any big team event. It’s just us in a horse and they don’t speak our language. And so it’s very much on us. Like everything that happens comes back to us pretty much. And I think with us, like us is a lot of things. We’re barrel racers. We have jobs, we have relationships, we have stresses of the day and that’s just who we are and our horses don’t, they just chill. They don’t know when they’re going for a 10 hour drive or what’s happening.

Speaker 1:
They just like are the most easy going things ever if you really think about it and they like rely on us, like, exactly. So like for us, like that’s almost kind of, we almost need to learn from our horse a bit more like what our horses are like and be a bit more like that. Right. Like that’s so good. Yeah. So was there any really big obstacles, I guess that were really like eye eyeopening for you that you realize, okay. I think I need to change something like something isn’t working. Um, I just, like, I kind of felt like I was juggling all these balls and I couldn’t keep them all in the air anymore. And I’m like, okay, something needs to change. And like, that’s hard as a human to admit that, like, I can’t do it all. Like, I don’t know. That’s at least hard for me to admit, cause like, you don’t want to let anyone down, like you want to like try your best, but it’s like, you know, what, if you’re not healthy in your mind, you can’t like do that, but it’s hard to, it’s hard to like get to that point and realize that change needs to happen.

Speaker 1:
And like a mental change is probably harder than a physical change. Like, I don’t know, just putting that work in and struggling and like, but it’s worth it all in the end. Like, I don’t know. You just keep going. And when you feel healthy in your mind, like it translates. Like, I don’t know so much how comes inside and out. So I guess that’s kind of the point I’m trying to get. No, it’s so true. And like the thing about the physical or mental change for me, like my experiences, like last year was a really rough year with my one horse and I felt so defeated and I kind of got to a pretty dark place, I guess, with almost like for me, my problem is like self sabotage and it was so repetitive and every time I totally proved my point after my run, I’m like, I can’t do this.

Speaker 1:
Like, I’m not like, like when I was at that place, I was like, I’m not cut out for this. It’s not working. And that’s seriously how I felt. And last year was kind of a bit of an altering point for me where I realized I’m like, something has to change here. So that was my moment where I felt myself before run already feeling defeated. I’m like, I might as well not even do my run. And that was pretty rough. That was rough to like accept that kind of. And I was like, at the point, I’m like, maybe I need a therapist. Like I’m all for that. And like, I need to go get like some counseling or like do something, read a really good, inspiring, helpful, like self help book to try and get me over this obstacle because like that me just self sabotaging my runs.

Speaker 1:
And like, that’s not fair for my horse. Like I felt that’s, that was what hurt the most is. I felt bad. Like you don’t deserve to get put through this, but it was a me problem and I had to overcome it. And for me, my turning point is I actually really started going hard at the gym. And it took like with being like, if you’re trying to change your mental state, like that first step is definitely the hardest of even just accepting and then going through with it and realize, okay, something actually does need to change. And that changed is me. Like, I need to change, like it’s not working. And that is a tough pill to swallow. So that’s like awesome that you were able to do that and like make that change and get that. It was tough. Like the first time going to the gym, like, it was such a small little hurdle, but it was literally just getting my membership and I, like, I kept putting it off and a month would go by and I never went and I’m like, well, like I’ll do it eventually.

Speaker 1:
And then the one thing that actually helped is my mom started going. So having like a partner kind of to help you and like coach you and just kind of persuade you to take action. That helped me a lot. So I mean, if anyone is struggling to maybe take that step, maybe like reaching out, I would really encourage to reach out to someone and, or like, listen to something like this, if someone’s going through like a similar thing and like there’s options for me, the gym changed my mental state. So it kind of went both ways where I think once you get the momentum to do it, it just happens. It’s like an after effect, which is like the most positive effect you can have. Like, it just goes hand in hand. So that was like, that really helped me. But even still, um, like for preparing to get on my horse, I find like for me anyways, you know, just thinking, okay, I’m gonna enjoy this ride.

Speaker 1:
It’s going to be a chill ride. And when I think of that, I actually have fun and it was good. And you know, and like, I don’t know, like, is that something you do as well? Like before you even show up, just think to yourself, almost like it’s like a type of meditation almost. You’re like thinking visualizing, Kay, this is the state I’m going in with this. Yeah, no for sure. It’s like, okay, if I’m going to go in, I’m going to, you know what, just long trot around the pasture today, because like the stretcher out, just let her chill letter, like get her head down. Like if I’m going in with that attitude. And then I find myself halfway through that pasture, I’d like wanting to nitpick on her, like get her to frame up or something. And then it’s like, Oh wait, that wasn’t even my goal.

Speaker 1:
Then you can like, kind of go back and be like, okay, I’m going to enjoy this. Like, no, just take a step back, breathe. It’s okay. If you try and to pick on her, you’re going to make her anxious. And that wasn’t, that’s not your role ever. But like, it’s good to go in with that mindset. I love that. Making a goal for your ride and trying to stick with it no matter what, because I find like my rides fluctuate where, I mean, I’ve read, you know, you could have your ride and then your horse tells you what to work on. I mean, that’s like in a training session, which I understand. And I am like that as well, where I like that idea of actually having a goal for it, because you might think, Oh, I really need to work on this because that’s what your horse is telling you.

Speaker 1:
But then you also want to work on what you want to work on. Or if you just think, okay, let’s have a goal. Let’s accomplish one thing today. Instead of taking over the world in one ride, like it’s not, so that’s actually really good. Like, you’re kind of like self checking yourself. You’re like, okay, this isn’t my goal I had for today setting reasonable and achievable goals. Cause like those small goals, then that like works up to your big goal. And I think that can really translate to like in a run. So you go into a competition, you’re like, okay, last three weeks. We haven’t been like doing quite as well. Like that’s not set an expectation to go win the one D or something. That’d be like, okay, let’s try and have a good competition and enjoy ourselves. And then you’re setting yourself up to win instead of the fail out of competition too.

Speaker 1:
And like practice that out a small ride. You can like take that with you wherever you go. It’s true. And then at that sense, it’s not such a defeat if you don’t win, because technically your goal wasn’t to actually like win the whole thing. Like it was, you go enjoy it, go enjoy it, have a nice run and love your horse and just make the most of it. And then at the end of the day, it’s like, yeah, I actually did that. It was fine. And I always liked to be like, I’m definitely a very, more positive, optimistic person. And it’s like, no matter what happens, it can be like the biggest wreck, but I’m like, you know what, like whatever, there’s next time like, Oh, that’s such a good attitude to have. And like with everything, right? Like even like my day to day, just like, I don’t know.

Speaker 1:
I don’t know what it is, but it’s like just it’s okay. Things happen. We don’t have control always. And I think right now this 2020 year has really proved that it’s like, we really don’t have control over what we thought we did. Like we’re so little in the grand scheme of things. Like, let’s just be grateful for what we have. And I don’t know, just so grateful to even have the opportunity to be able to ride horses. I think that’s just amazing. Yeah, exactly. And also for me right now is a few of our horses got a bit sick, so they were off for awhile. And my four year old was off for about like a week and a half. So I went and that’s exactly what I thought of when I got on I’m like, I’m just going to have a relaxed ride with her because I haven’t rode her in a week and a half.

Speaker 1:
It was, she had a really bad cough. So I was like, I don’t want, I’m not gonna like work her hard cause she’s recovering. So I just was like, she’s going to be a nice children ride. And I rode like that. I rode chill. One hand, like life is good. And she worked nice and like move my moves off my body. And I was like, Oh, that’s actually what I want all the time. But I actually, it was because I appreciate it. I’m like I actually get to ride this horse where before if I wrote every day, I didn’t maybe take a step back to think about, wow, like this is actually really cool. My mind was always, Oh, I need to fix this. I need to get her ready for running. I need to, you know, add speed and like get her rating better and do all this where, when she was sick, I had that week to really reflect on stuff and just think, you know, let’s take it easy right now.

Speaker 1:
Like we have time to fix those things or to keep working on it. And it’s just, it was like, wow, like you can lose a horse really fast. So if you want to like relate that to life and everything in a more serious matter, like it’s not forever Force’s lives. Aren’t forever ours. Aren’t. And I think when you, like, one of my horses hurt herself last year and she’s been off for a while. And that just really made me realize is, Hey, you might have your last run on your horse. So why do you want it not to be good? Like, why do you want to be mad at your horse? Like, what if it’s your last one so true. Right. You never know. I think it was like Sherry serve you. Who said your barrel horse is like a pack of cigarettes. It’s gonna run out eventually. Like, you know, your last one. I think having that in the back of your head is, so it’s just going to give you like the gratitude automatically. You’re just going to always appreciate that you have that knowing that it’s going to be gone at some point point or another. And I think if you just like appreciate life, I guess with gratitude, it really changes your whole perspective on everything else too. Right. Included in that go racing included.

Speaker 1:
That’s awesome. Well, I’m glad things turned around for you. Like, you seem like you’re doing well and your biking lots. You’re how is keeper doing? She is doing really good. Yeah. Um, Carol is taking amazing care of her and I’m so thankful for that. And, uh, she’s recovering from her surgery really well. I’m not sure if she’ll be able to barrel race again, but like, I’m kind of feeling at peace with that since I’m at school and really busy anyway, and yeah. I’m keeping up with my physical activity biking. Um, yeah. So that’s been pretty fun, but like definitely challenge and like I’m excited. I feel like I’m a better rider cause I’ve been biking just like with my balance and like that’s really sad. Anyway, a few trees are hit only if you it’s fine. Like just click.

Speaker 1:
Oh, that’s funny. Yeah. That’s awesome. It’s a good outlet though. Yeah, yeah. Especially right now. I think that’s just beneficial and challenging you. And I liked that. Like just having a new challenge to tackle and I mean, if you never really biked a lot before, it’s just a whole new world to get accustomed to and just like barrel racing is, and the one last thing I’m going to say about that is people that take barrel racing as too much of a challenge. And then they’re kind of afraid to even go for it. Like that is in itself, like such a personal problem. Like it’s a personal issue that you need to, like, how did you feel actually starting biking if you kind of took a break from horses and then you like went full force into the bike. Okay. World, uh, kind of terrifying. Thankfully my boyfriend is really great and like helps me and stuff and like, yeah, no, it was such a new challenge.

Speaker 1:
Cause I was like good at horses and I’m like, Oh, okay. Like I can just get on over to this. And I was like, no, no, like it’s going to be a challenge to wow. Like you can’t, you got to start from square zero. I’d like, definitely not as bad as I thought I was. Yeah. That’s true. That’s awesome. Yeah. I mean, now that the weather’s beautiful. I feel like it’s boosting everyone’s spirits a little bit and climb to like get outside. Even if it’s not to barrel race, there’s still so many things we can do with our time that are going to help us for when we get to there. I know. Right. It’s so nice. Yeah. That’s what I plan to do for the rest of the day is maybe, maybe go golf, non horse related stuff. That sounds fun. Exactly. It’s nice.

Speaker 1:
Nice to have a like, is that as that sounds, it is okay with the whole world thing going on. Like it feels like a very weird situation. We’re never going to have again. So for me, I’m trying to maybe take advantage as much as I can, despite how bad it is. You know, it’s still, you got to try and be a bit positive about the situation we’re in. Yeah. It’s like finding the positives is the best that we can do in the app. We’re not there. So like we’re in so little control of everything. That’s the one thing we are in control of is finding the positive. Katie, thank you so much for joining me and doing this is a bit of a backstory with this is Katie. We talking about this. And she said that she’d like to write stuff. So I told Katie, I’m like, well, if you wanted a platform to write a blog post, I said, I would gladly share it for you. And like put it on my website, obviously get her, give her full credit. But if she wanted to try writing things and I mean, it’s totally related to weaken hustle’s goals and mission. So she ended up, you know, not getting it done. And I said, Hey, let’s do a video call. It’ll be way better. So that was great anyways. Um, yeah. So thank you so much. And um, you’re welcome. Thanks for having me. Thank you.

Speaker 1:
Oh, my word, Katie is such a doll and I had so much fun talking to her about all these things. I feel like we just got decently vulnerable here and went over. Maybe some struggles you might have. So if this might be a common problem, you have, I’d love to hear about it. Please send me a message, write a comment, do what you have to do, but get your words out. And I love talking about this sort of stuff. So with Katie, it was perfect. I’m really glad that she wanted to do this and I’m glad she agreed it to chat with me. I want to say there will be more of this type of stuff coming out. So if you do like this and want to talk about barrel racing, want to get together, please subscribe and never miss a beat and we will chat later. Thanks guys.