The moment I became a mother, a significant part of me was tucked away, almost hidden in the shadows of my new role.
It wasn’t just about me anymore; it was about us. Over the past year, I have been absorbed into this collective identity of “us,” and now I find myself sitting here, pondering where my individual self has gone. (I write about this further in this blog posts)
I keep asking myself, where am I, what do I desire, and who do I want to become once again?
These are the very questions that used to ask my journal before I discovered I was pregnant. Back then, I would often do yoga almost every evening, with my laptop or a paper journal right beside my mat.
I had a clear sense of who I was. I understood my mission and knew exactly what I was meant to be doing.
But now?
I haven’t reconnected with myself in quite some time, and it feels like I’ve hid my own identity to a corner, withdrawing the essence that I am supposed to share with this world.
Yes, being a mother is a precious gift. It embodies a purpose all on its own, and I deeply honor that. Perhaps I honor it more now than the path to rediscover myself, as myself.
“I’ can wait, but my baby needs it to be “us” for a while. (Cue the baby music playing from her stand and play station as she looks up at me with a smile.)
However, no matter what we do, we cannot deny who we truly are. We can try, but it comes with a price tag: depression, anxiety, discontentment, fear, resentment—the list goes on. I am sure each of us has experienced these emotions from time to time.
These feelings are clues that we are out of alignment. They are like road signs, signaling “wrong path,” “major detour,” “not for you.” You know the feeling; it’s trying to tell you something, but the message is just a whisper. A whisper is easy to ignore, but the feelings build up over time. Perhaps we just try our best to ignore them, numbing them with any distractions we can find.
The remedy is to be BRAVE in embracing who we are. Trust the whispers you hear and take intentional time to get to know yourself.
Here are a few questions you can ask:
Why do I feel I am here on this planet?
In what area of the world do I want to make a contribution?
How can I help others?
What do I believe I am naturally good at?
If I had total freedom, how would I spend my day? Imagine the entire day and your surroundings—who are you with, what are you doing, and how do you feel?
Life is a winding road. Some say destiny will always find its way. I believe that is true, but you also have to give destiny a helping hand. You have to be open to life, approach it with curiosity, and trust that things will work out. It will always be ok, ask teh quote goes “Everything is OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.” Be bold and courageous enough to take risks, as risks are your belief in the idea that everything will always be okay.