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Born to Be Free

by | Personal Development

When I was living in the states. I met a man. He was from a generation I’ve always been curious to know more about. As if my soul yearned for the desire to have lived through the 1970s as a 20 year old.  I knew the stories would be about music, partying, road trips and just taking it easy. When I looked at him I saw the history. He looked older than the good old days, but the stories still seemed fresh in his mind. They took him back in time and they took me back too.

After meeting Brillo, I soon met his garage. That detached building was a teleport to another dimension. I didn’t know it right away, but I needed that place. The room was filled with all his favourite things; bikes, cars and music. He was full of life in there. Bouncing around as I sat on a single stool, holding a beer he only buys for his guest since he doesn’t drink. We would be in there for hours as he shared his stories, music and advice to me; this young girl he’d only just met. I looked around at the posters covering the walls and pieces of bike parts hangings up with pride. Each time I went in there I’d always spot something new and intrigued to hear the story that went with it. I asked to hear them all.

I wish I could remember all his stories, or remember what it was exactly that made him the most impressionable person I met through my whole trip. He had a way to make you feel heard and understood. Something I aspire to possess. I never questioned his advice as I could feel it coming from behind two eyes and a heart that has seen history and life longer than I. It felt true and I trusted his wisdom. Brillo, you knew just what to say!

The story I’m going to share is about the title. Born to be free. On one of my days off I was sitting in the passengers seat of Brillo’s beautiful black 1935(ish) ford custom coupe. With only the road as our destination. He had a suggestion what I should see during my short time working in Rapid City, SD. I accepted and we showed up to a classic car show parked outside the biggest Harley Davidson store I’ve ever seen.

There we parked among other classic cars and I could feel his presents there. People respected him as he carried himself high. He was at home with the community he loved and in return, they loved him right back.

While walking through the store with a beer I took from the free beer stand, we started admiring all the bikes. Dreaming of which Harley would be the best for a beginner like me. Staring at our reflections of these perfect, untouched bikes. Wondering, dreaming if there would be a day where we could hang up the car keys and ride our bikes to destination no where instead.

I knew taking a bike home was out of reach so I just kept scrolling through the lanes, admiring their elegant yet rugged beauty until there was no more. The bikes ended and opened to the Harley Davison apparel. The place where my travelling self could bring the funds to purchase a smaller memory instead. Just then, a teal sweater popped out at me. I held it up, my size! We both stared at it together, reading the graphics on the back. There was ribbon with the words saying “born to be free”. Brillo looked up at me without any hesitation, pointed to it and said “Look Shelby, thats you!”

I often look at that sweater and know Brillo is still with me. I feel him telling me “Shelby, be free! Don’t waver, don’t let others tear you down, you know yourself, you are strong and you are born to be free.”

Brillo, I miss you.

Your memories and your stories are with me forever. 

Can We Please Just Talk About How Hard It Is

Can We Please Just Talk About How Hard It Is

by | Personal Development, Winning Mindset

Yes, I see you. I see you killing it. I am genuinely happy for you and your success with these horses. It is no small feat to become an amazing team with these animals. We literally sit on their back and control them enough to go through a barrel pattern.

Control them enough, but not right.. not enough control, too much control, not the proper headgear, too stiff, not stiff enough, too much rate, not enough rate, ok were bent, its in the wrong places now, oh wait. I don’t know.

It’s no wonder why this sport, that can look so effortless is so not effortless. We all work hard ok. Why does she and he seem to always get it right? Why is he able to start horses so perfect with no steps backwards? That horse and rider keep progressing just as those damn training videos online intended.

We try our faces off. We try our hands to calluses and wrinkles. We try with over heating and sunburns for days. We try with this horse, we try with that horse. We just try. And yet, sometimes it is just so damn hard. It’s hard to get the balance we need in order to look effortless. The right gear, the right training, the right mindset, the right physical abilities of both horse and rider. The balance is the key to our success. No wonder why it takes years of hard trying to figure our this game of training and running barrel horses.

When set backs present themselves, and trust me they do. What’s a girl supposed to do?

Grit her way through the constant feeling of unworthiness? Or maybe watch a few more training videos because at this point all second guessing our abilities thus far has come creeping in, do we even know what the hell were doing on this horse anymore? What is even what!?

That “what” is hard. That is the hard I am referring to. The hard self reflection, the hard realizations, the hard competitions, the hard comparisons, it’s all just freaking hard.

I am not going to waver though and I am not going to pretend it’s any other way. That would be a lie and a fake image I’m trying to portray to others who are feeling the hardness of this game as well. We are not alone in this. I feel it, sometimes more then I want. I wonder, what is this bullshit trying to teach me now? I already feel like I am below earth, why try to ground me down even more? I AM HERE, OK. Give this poor trying girl a break..Can it just be easier yet?

When life throws us curves and who knows, maybe even stones, or a boulder. What is the reaction you want to give off into the universe?

If I go to the place of my own mental bullying, then that will always win. My own dumb thoughts of negativity saying i’m not goo enough, I don’t think I’ll ever get it right, what are you even doing here, you try so hard and yet, look.. What do you have, Shelby?! YA, thoughts can be so dumb.

What I really need to do is remember.

For someone who has a terrible memory, this gift and curse of mine needs to be put in check from time to time. I need to remember MORE! More goodness, more joy and just more of ME. Me being awesome, me being proud of myself, me trying and not giving up no matter what, my accomplishments and all the history of this being that I am. At the end of the day, at the end of time, Me is all I have.

Remember that shit. Remember that time you dropped your life to move to the USA to work for trainers in order to learn and grow as a human and rider? Ya, I do. Remember the time you took this horse and made it something someone else wanted to buy? Yes. Remember that your life is worth living and you have the opportunity to make with it what you want?!!! Yes, I do remember that. Remember the birds, the moon, your dog, your horse, your fields, your friends, your support system.. YOU! Do you remember YOU?

If you’re going to try anything, try remembering more. More of you. The challenges you have faced already, the ones you have overcome.

You have done it! You can freaken do it again. You’ve done it before, you can and you will overcome this hardness again.

Life isn’t easy, don’t even try to change that because you simply can’t. Just like you can’t change your horse in one run or the placement of the moon. These things take time and if you’re reading this, lucky for you, you have the gift of time. Remember how rewarding the hard process is when the other side welcomes you with open arms. When you can finally say “Look! We did it.”

Hard = Learning and what are we without it? We can do the hard things. We can overcome it and we can win!

Give me your thoughts! Leave a comment. I want to hear you say “we can do hard things”

Why gratitude for athletes is important to win

Why gratitude for athletes is important to win

by | Personal Development, Winning Mindset

When you start to appreciate things for what they are and not what they’re not, your mind takes a shift.

I’ve personally experienced that with my riding and my sport performance has changed for the better. The thing about gratitude is it’s the quality of being thankful, a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The other components of gratitude is appreciating and acknowledging that there have been external forces that have influenced our lives in a positive way.

We’re acknowledging where we are right now. And people use religion in the sense where you’re exactly where you need to be. God has placed you where you’re meant to be right now and has put these obstacles in your way for you to overcome and become who you’re truly meant to be. And I totally feel that, that we’re allowing those forces to tell us everything happens for a reason. We only have right now, nothing is for granted and nothing’s for certain.

How to Practice Gratitude

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I really feel like when I’m going to a race and I’m being envious of other people, I’m ignoring what I have. I’m looking at what other people have and I’m ignoring myself and the fact that I’m on a gorgeous horse that is bred to run barrels. Without gratitude, you ignore your uniqueness, your abilities and your blessings. 

Look down at your amazing horse and partner and appreciate them right now. Let’s go into the arena, let’s not care what happens as long as I have fun and I enjoy my horse right now.

Don’t think about the future of what could happen or might happen, but be right “now” and just enjoy now having gratitude and thanks for what you have right now. “I am so thankful for my horses, they’ve helped me accomplish so many things. They’ve taught me life lessons that they will never know. I can focus on that when I’m going down the alley, I can smile and tell myself I’m just going to go have fun.”

I just changed my mindset. I looked at what I have. I realize that I’m very fortunate. You know, I might not have some things that I wish I did, but right where I am right now, I can’t complain. I’m exactly where I need to be, to become who I really want to become. And I’m embracing those setbacks. I’m embracing the bad times, I’ve gone through to get me where I am and I know it’s still not over. There’s so much more to overcome and realize in life. But for now I’m choosing “now” I’m choosing that things might be gone. Time will slip faster than I think anyone realizes. You miss out on it, but realizing what you have at this exact moment might be gone forever. And wow, like what an eye opening thought to have.

One things that helped me: Realizing I never celebrated small wins. Not acknowledging those little victories that you have with yourself can do a lot of damage. I never realized or thought I was getting anywhere. I would put in the work, but I felt defeated because I never gave myself the time to sit down and actually look at the wins I have been making. If you don’t take the time to evaluate yourself and look at your actual progress, you don’t acknowledge them.

We need to know how far we’ve come in order to keep growing and to keep positive. We need to know where we started from and how incredibly awesome is to be where we are right now, because that is an accomplishment. If you don’t see it, it means we need to sit down and think, and look at the small wins. What are your small wins of the day, the month, year, life, and remember those.

Here are some questions that you can ask yourself once a week.

The best practice is to journal every night, ask yourself even a few of these questions.

What did you do well today?

For me conducting this podcast, it’s really hard to stay on a schedule and I’ve been struggling, but I’m still happy that I’m doing it. And that’s something that went well for me. I’m proud of myself for it because I had a chisel out that time in my day to sit down and record, edit and make ready for you. And I’m really grateful that I’m able to provide hopefully some value for you and maybe give you a different perspective on things to help you along your own journey. So that’s one thing I did well today.

What am I grateful for today?

I am grateful for the fact that it’s not winter. I can still go out and ride my horse. The grass is still green. I have a horse to ride. I have a car I can drive. I am grateful for my mom, my travel partner, going to barrel races. I’m grateful for barrel races. The world siituation this 2020 has really changed so many things for our lives this year. I literally went to a show last weekend and I was so grateful to be there. I was thinking “I don’t even hardly care how I do, I’m just so happy we have a barrel race!”  because I thought we were done for the year.

I’m so freaking grateful to have barrel races, which I’m sure a lot of you guys can relate to that one.

What is a small win I can celebrate for me?

My small win is that I went to the gym this morning. It’s a small thing, but I still did it. It’s been getting easier because I’ve been adapting to a schedule to and it does make a lot of difference when it becomes more of a habit.  Whatever it is to you, when you actually schedule it in and you follow through, that is a win!

“I did something I told myself I was going to do and I followed through with myself. I was accountable to me.”

We are accountable to other people. But what do you do for yourself? When you tell yourself you want to do something? Do you follow through or do you literally blow yourself off. You want to do it for yourself to improve yourself and you literally stood yourself up.

So my small win is that I followed through with what I said I wanted to do with the good intention of taking care of my body and improving myself. I followed through and that is definitely a small one that I can celebrate today and this week.

What is one compliment you would tell yourself?

It’s not really a question, but think of a compliment. You can give yourself.

This is not an easy thing to answer. One thing that I would say that I’m proud of myself for is when I was struggling with riding, I wasn’t afraid to ask for help and to put myself in the position of “hi, I don’t know everything. Can you please help” and i was actually open minded to hear different inputs and different viewpoints and ideas that might really help me. So I’m proud of myself for going out and reaching out to get some help and guidance.

What is one thing that you can look back on and love about your journey so far?

For me, the whole internship thing. I love that story. It’s a lengthy, long one. A lot of things went down. It was amazing and also garbage at the same time. There are so many highs and there’s so many lows. I walked away with such a different perspective on so many things, not even necessarily horse related.

That whole internship experience that I went through might be my favorite. Like I’m happy I did it looking back.  I put myself in those bad situations and I came through it way better. On the other side, a different person, a stronger person, a more well rounded, educated person and I wouldn’t change that. And that’s one thing that I totally love about my journey so far.  It was incredible.

So, what is your own favourite?

It’s not over, you still got your journey, but at this moment in time, what is a one highlight experience that you’ve gone through that you love?

I just love these exercises as well. I think this just helps put things into perspective and I really hope it does for you. I really hope you’re able to get something from the bit of research that I did and also sharing my own experience.  I hope you can take something away that is beneficial, that will help you along your own journey as well.

Check out some other Episodes!

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Cold Showers: What Happened After I Started Taking Them

by | Personal Development, Wellness

I heard of cold showers and thought “NO WAY! I hate the cold, as if I’d ever put myself through that torture for no reason.”

Well, I’m here to say there is a reason!

Once I did the research and learnt about the actual benefits, it became obvious this was something I was interested in trying. I looked up people who are cold shower advocates and learnt why/how/when you do these cold showers.

Basically, how do I get through this shower and what is the purpose?

Here are my findings:

First, it’s not the cold shower itself, it’s what the cold shower represents in our lives. It could be the anxiety we face on the daily, a competition we are preparing for.

A cold shower takes form in so many ways in our lives, it represents obstacles we must overcome.

Secondly, it’s proving to ourselves we can do what we find hard or a challenge. Nothing like forcing yourself under cold water to realize you really are capable of that and now, so much more!

Thirdly, it’s teaching us how to handle ourselves under uncomfortable situations. If I can breathe through cold water torture and stay calm and accept the cold. I feel you can handle the pressure of competition that much better. “I can face adversity head-on because I trained myself ahead of time”.

It’s my favourite thing to mindfully do stuff that gives me secondary benefits. I look at a cold shower as training myself for my future. The by-product of my cold showers will show itself when it really matters. For me, that’s handling nerves at a barrel race. It’s me showing up as my best self and rider when it really matters. Remember, being your best self is taking small steps every day to help you succeed later on.

Such an unusual setting, like the shower, is giving me the strength for when I need it the most.

OK, so now we know some reason why people take cold showers. Now, let’s hear it with the excuses.

Excuse #1: I have bad circulation, I can’t do it because my hands go white and it’s not good for them.

False – Well, ok, you are right. If you suffer from poor circulation like myself, letting them get cold and go white frequently is definitely not good. BUT, for me, it actually helped my hands! When I’m able to relax during the cold shower, my hands and feet didn’t lose circulation after. I was in control.. its weird but its true.

Example:

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Excuse #2: It’s too hard, I can’t turn the leaver over to cold.

– Well, life is hard! This is one thing you can do to prepare yourself better. One act of being uncomfortable is going to prepare you for so many elements that life brings, so why not try? It is hard, but you’re stronger than the cold. Prove it to yourself that you can do something challenging. You are strong and capable!

Tips to get ready:

Mentally prepare yourself. Take some deep breaths to help get your body ready and your mind ready to accept what is about to happen.

Start Small. Try for 10 seconds, WOAH its cold! Then, progress until you reach 30 seconds, then 1 minute and so on. Do it until it doesn’t become a question if you’re going to, you just do it. Embrace it, don’t fight whats happening. Once you accept it and embrace it, the cold honestly doesn’t feel that bad and now you feel freakin amazing. It’s like a shot of coffee into your soul!! 

Unleash your inner Wim Hoff. Accept the cold, be in the cold and be in control.

I challenge you to try. Comment below if you think you can do it!

If you’d like some more information,

https://www.wimhofmethod.com/benefits-of-cold-showers

“Be a Lady” Set yourself Free

by | Personal Development

‘There’s a video floating around the internet. It’s called Be a Lady.

I just watched it and this is my take on the film. I heard a few different reasons or people giving comments on what the film or that poem initially meant. My take is that whole thing, there is no winning, there is no third option that is like, “okay, that’s good now you’re perfect”. There is absolutely no perfection anywhere and the perfection that we put on ourselves, either from what we’ve been told our whole lives or just what we feel.

Then we see it online and we basically just get proven to ourselves that that is perfect and we are not perfect.

I have felt that growing up I definitely was not a big person. I was very skinny, very white and I was told that like it was a bad thing. Like you should be more of this, you should be less of that, you should be more talkative, you’re too quiet. And then it goes, you need to stop talking. There is just no third option where you win and that’s what I got from this video. No matter what, whatever society has told us or whatever we have told ourselves or our parents or our friends, there’s an impossible goal that we have. We’re going to be miserable to ourselves trying to find it and it’s not going to happen.

We could go our whole lives trying to form to what society or what we’re told we want and what we should be in order to be happy and I call bullshit. It’s not real.

That video just hit home for me and I just felt it deep because I think everyone’s experienced it. Men have, women definitely from my experience, I know we have. We need to realize what that means, what those feelings we feel mean and not let them control their lives.

We need to be stronger, which I mean it’s not easy to say. But even saying, sorry, we should not be apologizing for anything in our lives; anything that is a good thing for us. We should not have to say sorry to society.

I need to be me; I need to be the best me I can be. And that is the only thing that I care about right now. I hope for you as well. You just have to be bet the best you. You can’t please everyone.

There is no perfection anywhere in the world and don’t ever think there is. The fact that “perfect” doesn’t exist and you’re not perfect, basically means you are perfect, just the way you are.

That’s what I have to say about it. So thank you for watching. This is my take of Be a Lady, they said..

Every day is Interview day. Time to Be Your Best

by | Personal Development, Wellness, Winning Mindset

So I wanted to talk about one thing I realized when I was just observing the world one day. I’m seeing people and how they show up into the world. When I went on my internship experience, I learned a lot. The one thing that I think was super important is the ability to make yourself available for opportunity!

That sounds a little odd I think, but hear me out.

If you show up somewhere and you’re not prepared or planning on something amazing happen, do you think there’s a chance of something like that actually happening? It 100% starts with you and where you’re at, and what you want to get out of something or a given situation.

So on my trip, that was a main goal of mine,  I really wanted to put my best step forward, always be available for learning and meeting people and seeing how they could help me transition through my trip. I was totally by myself and I really did need the help of other people to get myself around and get through it.

That was kind of a big piece of my puzzle going down in the States and definitely just when I was watching people; cause I do that sometimes. I was just seeing, seeing how they’re showing up. Like if they show up ready to tackle whatever comes up and you can tell by their presence.

I know you don’t want to judge people how they dress, but I mean if they’re dressed polished, it shows! I thought of, it like it’s their interview or their first day on the job, they’re going to show up like they’re 100% self and people lose that. People after a year they start to lose that. Or, they are in a relationship. And then after a year you get comfortable and then you kind of start losing that or after you’re done school and everything, you’re just working, you lose that ability to really try.

Be the best person you can by showing up like its your first day of work or your first day of school or your interview before I even got the job.

 

You show up as your 110% person and why does that change? I honestly think it’s something I work on as I don’t want to lose that. When I go out or when I’m doing anything, even with these videos,  I want it to be the best and I want to be the best in it. I want to keep striving to get there and I think we should take every day as it’s our first day on the job.

I think with that, you can learn a lot more than you thought was possible. You just have to open yourself up and be willing and available to have those opportunities come up. You never know what can happen to you because you were prepared for something. You could have met someone that totally changed your life. So, I think every day should be “interview day”. And if you have any thoughts on that, please let me know.

Please subscribe, comment, do whatever.. But I will talk to you later!

Cut The Unnecessary Anxiety of Meeting People

by | Personal Development

Meeting people is inevitable. Humans are social creatures and we are told we have to interact throughout to be apart of this society. If the thought of it makes you internally shake, then, I’m here to tell you that uh ya, me too.

But it doesn’t always have to be that way.

If someone told me before “oh you get to meet so and so” I would smile and act excited and say something like “okay, cool!” but deep down it was a very different story. I would tell myself “This is no biggie, I meet people all the time. What is there even to be worried about? Confidence Shelby, confidence.”

Despite all the unnecessary

anxiousness I have caused myself, I do actually enjoy meeting new people! Everyone has something interesting they can bring forth and maybe even teach you. I believe that every single person I meet, no matter who it may be, knows at least one thing I don’t. It’s a humbling concept, but it’s true! What’s more refreshing and honest than admitting that maybe you don’t know everything? We sense open-minded, curious people and just speaking for myself, I enjoy interacting with those guys! Humble people are the best.

The struggle can and usually is the initial contact with someone. We are all trying to master this game of life so maybe putting everyone on the same playing field makes it way easier to talk to them. When you look at those unfamiliar faces, just think of them as another fellow, imperfect human that’s trying to find their way through life. It works as an unfearful way to go out there and interact with the scary people of the world. Everyone has a different story and has learnt different things, just start the conversation and let them drop some experience or wisdom on you. It could be life-changing!

Being mindful to stay open and eager to interactions can open countless doors for you. Where I am now, stems from a long line of interactions and experiences. I’ve only had two jobs working for non-family members and both of them happened without handing in a resume. By showing up, asking questions and having conversations with, at the time strangers; it did more than a piece of paper ever could. Our personality speaks volumes and forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone to show people who I really am, allowed me to connect with those future employers. It’s crazy to think none of it would have happened if I didn’t show up and network as my true and honest self. It’s not easy to do while dealing with the anxiety of putting yourself out there but trust me, its worth it; and like anything you do in life, the more you do it the better you get and the easier it becomes.

They say positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive experiences. The same logic applies

for meeting people. If you can be open about who you are to yourself and everyone around you, it becomes a magnet for the same things to come into your life. I find it easier to approach someone who comes across as honest and friendly since it brings out your honesty and approachability as well. It just makes for a good first connection! Also a bonus, it will naturally keep those people in your life who actually like you for you. What a novel idea!

With all these people coming in and out of your life, every one of them has a purpose for you. You might not see it at the time but everyone can teach you something if you let them. I was once told there are two types of people you will meet in your life. One is the person you inspire to be like. You see who they are, what they’re doing and you decide that’s how you want to be as well. On the flip side, there are the people that you meet and you realize you don’t want to be like them. They may treat you or others a certain way that you really despise but try to you keep your positive values intact and step back to observe what it is they do. Try to notice it and don’t follow their ways. If you take that unpleasant experience as a step toward personal growth, you just figured out that negative person taught you something as well; who you don’t want to be! You can’t control how others act but you can control how it affects you, ultimately you are in control. Choose to learn from it and move on from that unfortunate experience and person.

The beautiful thing is you can take all that information from others and choose what you want to apply to your own life. Then, focus on being that person others aspire to be and more importantly who you want to be! If you can inspire and change one detail of someone’s outlook on life in a positive way, you just won.

Another thing about this is you don’t have to tell people you’re a good person either, your natural aura is noticeable to everyone. There are no shortcuts here, but luckily, if you’re a decent human to everything around you, that won’t go unnoticed. So, why are you going to show up any other way? Being the lovely, natural self is by far the best and only way I would ever want to be present at any moment.

Maybe it’s just a one-time, interaction with a stranger. You might have made their day by just being present and listening to them. They might be sharing some random story to you from when they were younger; just give them your time and attention. Time is the most valuable thing we can give and luckily for everyone, it literally is free.

To Conclude, people don’t always remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

With that being said, I challenge you to be positive, be you and try to make someone smile. Develop the mindset to get out of your comfort zone and go do the whole meeting people thing. You likely won’t regret it and who knows; It could become the beginning of something so great in your life and you don’t even know what it is yet. The novelty of the unknown is powerful, go explore it!

Thank you for reading,