I am the one who need to believe in myself. I am the one who needs to believe I am special. I am the one who needs to see my strengths and weaknesses, honestly. I am the one who needs to eliminate all doubt.
I need to know this is who I am. I need to know I am here for a reason and I am living that reason right now. I need to love myself the most. I need to believe in myself the most.
I can do all these things because I am strong and I am not alone. I can do these things because my body wisdom tells me I can. I can do these things because I feel it’s the truth. I am here to seek and to live highly, always.
We all can do these things.
I need to get over the hump that is my self. It is stopping me.
From your Coach as words I also need to hear – Shelby
I always knew competition would show all the shadows in my life. That’s why I feel so deeply that personal development is the root and the starting point for all the external results we want to achieve; either in the arena or life in general.
In the arena, we cannot fake anything and we cannot pretend. It is us, our horses, the clock, cow, judge, obstacles; whatever your discipline is. There are no faking results. That is one reason why I love competition, it calls out all the BS. It shows where I lack, either in the actual arena or in the many “arenas” of my life.
If you’re not confident, your riding performance will show that, if you have anxiety about being seen, your performance will show that. In so many ways, our development as a human is needed if we are to overcome our own set of obstacles to really shine and thrive!
This brings me to a quick story about why I was not performing well. I think after many years, I finally have my answers as to why. To back track, this takes us roughly 4 years ago. I went to the USA to work for a few futurity trainers and I came home thinking I knew everything there was to know about barrel racing.
I did learn a lot, but when it was my time to shine and show off how much better I was than everyone else, it was a total disaster.. No kidding. I had a 4 year old futurity horse I could hardly get a qualifying run on and if we did manage to turn three barrels, it was definitely not fast. I was so embarrassed and confused after every run being a let down. “What was I missing in this?” I asked myself. I reached a state of very unhappy and hopeless. Before I ran I wondered why I was even going into that arena and as you can imagine my performance kept reinforcing this mental state I was trapped in.
Eventually, after many realizations and major humbling, I overcame this mental block. Slowly we scratched off the possibilities that were causing this unfortunate hiccup. First we looked at the horse; after a vet and a variety of therapeutic treatments later, she was in the clear. Now who else do we have to blam? Oh ya, it was me.
This brings me to the big thing I realized was missing those many years ago. I am trying not to be embarrassed to say this, but it was self-love. Like, the real self love. To help explain the definition of what I was going through, I will tell you what it is not. It was myself not taking care of “me.” I was unable to fill my own cup up, so I turned to external factors. I wanted my barrel racing to fill my self esteem. I wanted other people to make me feel qualified enough to be here(like being born isn’t enough already..). I wanted support from a partner to allow me to feel loved and supported because really, I was unable to do it for myself. I thought I needed all these things to reach victory in the arena. I learned that even if I had all these things on my side; they wouldn’t fix the bigger issue going on within myself internally.
This was a “me vs me” journey I had to face.
Before this realization, I always felt personally attacked when my barrel racing runs didn’t go well. I took it to heart as a reflection of my self-worth; hello unnecessary pressure. I became so reliant on “winning” that if I wasn’t getting that “win” I was miserable and felt no love, either from others or simply myself. If I wasn’t winning in the arena, I could hardly stand to look at myself. Sounds crazy right? But it’s a very real thing we face in lots of areas, not just riding. But like I said before, our life outside of riding reflects ourselves on the inside of it too!
I learnt that we can get caught up wanting external factors to make us feel certain ways about ourselves; worthiness, beautiful, love etc.. But the problem is, when we don’t get those things we lose it all. But, here is the ticket; if we create those feelings within ourselves first, nothing outside can take that away from us; not a run, not a person, not any external circumstances – it is solely an inside job.
A quote from this book I’m reading called Spirit Hacking By Shaman Durek said “ ??If you’re wanting people to honour your time and your gifts, then you need to honour your time and you need to honour your gifts.” Aka it starts with you.
Moving forward, I have become so sure of myself and my journey I don’t take defeat in any arenas of life personally anymore. I take everything that happens as a necessary lesson for me to grow and I am just grateful I get the opportunity to try again. I will change and pivot in order to become better. The difference is now, my internal state is solid while I am traveling down this path that is inevitably full of ups and downs.
Once I became so sure of myself, and let go of the “need” to win; the craziest thing started to happen – I actually started winning! I started riding with confidence no matter the outcome, I just felt lighter and at ease with my journey. All the pressure of competition just swept away from me because the competition result didn’t have the weight of my self worth riding on it. This new me started with self love. And that’s loving all aspects of this, the highs and lows. It’s understanding the path we’re on and feeling at ease with it knowing it is all for our higher good.
I hope you can move forward, no matter what happens and still feel ok about yourself. You are already complete. When it becomes an inside job and you rely on yourself to bring you the internal feeling of success, nothing can take that away. And that’s when you know you have reached true success! When that happens, life becomes easier and the things you want will come to you as they are supposed to. Always remember to enjoy the ride.
Life is going to be challenging, confusing, full of obstacles. Its inevitable
So, how are you preparing now, to be able to handle the things life throws at you?
“How do you” is the question?
How do you become stronger, more resilient and capable thought the hard times that are coming?
Its by developing the resilience now but enduring challenging things WILLINGLY.
What are some examples?
Cold showers. Its my favourite and most resented thing I do. In the moment it is really frekaing hard to turn teh water that sits under ground as cold as possible as it comes through my shower head. It does something remarkable though. Every time I do it, for one, I feel better after. I know there are real health benefits so that is encouraging to make the switch. Also, it is preparing me for my day and life as things arise, and challenges come up. I build up my strength in the shower, I can handle that, I can handle this thing now.
There are many things you can do to help develop this mentally and practice of developing strength, clarity, resistance and courage in your day to day live. It starts by you willingly facing discomfort so when discomfort arises unwillingly, you can handle it with ease, grace and confidence.
Its an amazing thing, really it is.
So for you, what are some things you can do now that are uncomfortable but you know necessary for growth? Signing up for that first fitness class? Putting yourself out there, by maybe asking someone out, asking for a raise you feel you deserve, anything that seems “scary” – that is your answer.
Lean into it. Grow from it. Grow on your own terms of life will forcefully make you grow.
The choice is yours. Choose it today, choose it everyday and life a life you can run, a life you can handle, a life you can enjoy!
Taking care of you by leading by example – empowered people empower people .Start with you..
A simple statement “I am excited for my future” “the future is mine to create”
Within my time, I have gone through both spectrums of minimalism.
This is what I have learnt.
I will start with a story. I went to college a few years after I graduated high school. Within the time before college, I was working and saving money. When you get a steady income with low expenses, it is easy to spend. And I did. I spent without budgeting, and I kept spending without planning for the future.
I decided I needed that pair of jeans or those glasses and I would, without thinking, buy. Of course, I treated myself well with only the best and only with what I truly felt I wanted / “needed”. Then, college hit and didn’t change my spending habits. Guess what happened? I ran out of money before my two years of college were over. I was dry!! And it was mostly because of buying things I thought would make me complete.
The lesson:
I look back at times I went shopping just because I was bored. Today, do I remember those things I “needed” because they were cute? Absolutely not.
Back then I was a different person. I was one who thought I wasn’t enough. I feel bad looking back at who I was, but I am also so proud of who she has also become and is currently becoming every day.
So why does this story matter?
I fell for the marketing. Most marketing tells you that you need to look a certain way, you need to follow society fads in order to be relevant and be liked by your community. I fell hard and so did my bank account (rip). But, through the draining of my money in hopes to fill my soul and heart; I learnt why being a minimalist is something to aspire to become.
No, you don’t have to sell all your shit.. I mean belongings.
You don’t have to be broke to be a minimalist. You don’t have to suffer as a minimalist. A minimalist means you just aren’t controlled by the “needing of things” in your life in order to make you feel full and satisfied. The fulfillment you need comes from you! Solely from you and through your organic measures. Organic relationships, organic love, organic self, organic YOU!
What does this mean for you and how can we develop a more minimalist approach to life?
In this day and age of climate issues throughout our planet, we need to take accountability and responsibility for our consumerism. When we buy into the beliefs “big” companies are selling us hundreds of times a day, our planet is losing.
It’s an unnecessary loss created by us feeling we “need” something to become full, to become happy. They will tell you, your body isn’t quite right and you need to buy products to suit the social norms of physical appearances. They will tell you, in order to feel fulfilled you need to work your life away to buy the things you’re supposed to buy that will make you fulfilled. It simply isn’t true… but that’s not what they will tell you.
What happens when you finally realize contentment never comes from the outside?
Once you develop awareness of the marketing tactics that get you to buy all their things. You see the back end process that’s affecting our world. You buy products from the manufacturer who supplies the goods and where do those goods come from? How are they produced? At what global expense? At what human expense?
You do not need to buy it all.
That bag you had to have, will inevitably get old and tattered. That new car will become just like the old one you prematurely decided to trade in. Why do we have to cycle so quickly? New turns old, turns new, turns old; it happens within a blink of an eye.
A thought prompt— when was the last time you let your phone naturally get old and broken until you upgraded to a new one?
I’m not trying to point fingers and blame anyone. So please don’t get defensive and start making excuses for your actions and reasonings behind it all. I am simply stating, I have gotten by very well and in a pure and honest way by becoming a low key minimalist.. maybe you could too.
Maybe if we all decided to do our part in realizing there is much more to our world then consuming. If we became more aware of what we control and how we control it, we would become more stable within ourselves. We wouldn’t need these things to feel good, to feel satisfied. We also wouldn’t be throwing all the things we thought we “needed” into the trash just as quickly as we bought it.
Things might begin to have longevity.
Your happiness might last longer than the hype of a new piece of technology or new boots you didn’t need. Your contentment starts to feel more solid and durable. Your love for yourself is deeper than the things you possess. The overall need to be “cool” lowers, and with that, so will our planet’s temperature.
The last final question I’ll leave you with is:
Are you a part of the problem or a part of the solution?
The craziest things happen when I put my phone away and just sit in silence… I start to think.
I start to think about myself, my life, my day, my feelings. My brain starts to go travelling down these road in my thoughts and I have the clear open space to follow. I make an opening in my mind to go with these thoughts.
Through lack of distractions, we are able to uncover and bring to the surface so many things we may be ignoring.
Your destiny is inside of you but you are surprising it, ignoring it and not allowing it to come out to the surface.
We do that with distractions. With numbing ourselves from, well, ourselves.
We numb with:
In short – Consumption / Consuming
Food
Shopping
Phone
SocialMedia
Netflix
Just always consuming
And be careful, I know some of you consume healthy information. And that is GREAT!!
But, there needs to be a time and place for you to consume your own inner knowing. It might feel strange but being quiet, it might feel overwhelming but that isn’t a bad things at all. Just let it be. Be still enough to allow new rushing waves of thoughts come flowing in your mind. I promise, keeping your mind open and accepting of these thoughts will eventually bring you clarity.
You will find the clarity maybe you’re searching for by watching people you want to be like or by constantly educating yourself. Again, those are not necessarily a bad thing
But too much of anything becomes a bad thing.
It is all in moderation.
Moderation means mindfulness amounts of a given activity.
This is the sign I am giving you to start to clear away some time and space to simply just be. To allow your thoughts to wonder. To allow yourself to listen deeply to them. To question with curiosity and to be open enough to receiving the answers.
You have it within you. Its time to open the door to them, Open it by being still and being quiet.
I am on the right track. I am where I need to be in this moment in order to grow into the person I am here to become. I am slowly evolving into my higher self by taking conscious steps that allow such growth.
I tap into my intuition and let my innerself guide my decisions and I trust it, I trust myself. With good intentions, I will always do what is best for me, for others, and for our world. Good intentions drive my actions, before I make a move I ask “is this beneficial for myself, for others or for our world?” Then I act accordingly, full of trust and timing in my journey.
I observe the world around me with empathy and compassion, not knowing what everyone is going through. I am willing to put my own issues to the side so they can process and act in a way that suits them with where they are in their own unique journey.
Life unfolds all around me. Life is beautiful and I bring my attention to the amazingness of it thought out my day. I approach new things with curiosity and an eagerness to experience more, knowing I am here to experience all that life can offer.
When things don’t go how I want, I choose to let go of my expectations that they are supposed to go my way. I focus my energy of showing up as my best and highest self, no matter the situation I am in. I trust that in time, I will be given the gifts I need, when I need it.
Today is precious, it’s the only moment I have that I can take a deep breath in, and a slow soothing exhale out. The present moment is all I have and I am going to use it to my full advantage; even when I am resting. I know, to be well rounded, I have to allow all of life to come through me, this includes resting, recharging and regaining focus on the offers of the future present moments.
I am the controller of this vessel. I am in control of me. I take that power with me everywhere I go. I am here to enjoy life and share my love in all ways I can.
Dont be scared by the word “divine”. Divine means all of us, we are all connected. We are all apart of it. Anything with a consciousness is apart of it. Every animal all over the world, humans included. Horses are a channel to feel it more deeply. Much like when you take a nature walk, or let the sun shine its rays down on you in the morning, you can’t help but feel you are interwoven with all that is. Even though all animals are intertwined in the “divine” connection; there is something different and special about horses. They are prey animals, but they aren’t always afraid.
With horses, they give us so much more than what meets the eye. As a horse girl, we always say the most peaceful sound is the sound of a horse munching on some dry hay. Funny the sound of people eating is a totally different story! But horses, witnessing them peacefully eating is so calming for us too.
Why is that? We connect to the horse without realizing it.
We feel their peace, we feel their comfort. Their energy is saying “I am content in this moment right now” and they give us some of that energy too. Its a continuous transfer of energy. Right then and there, we pause to hear the quietness.
Night check is one of my favourite times just for that reason. It’s dark outside but lights are on in the barn and everyone is peacefully in their “room”. I top up their water, give them an extra flake of hay and I say goodnight. But before I turn the lights off I pause, taking a big inhale to breath of it all in. They’re content, they have all they need. As do I. Food, water, shelter, companionship of fellow horses around them. What else do we need?
They need nothing. The horses are in the moment, fully satisfied.
Nothing else matters to them other than what they are doing, which is usually eating. It’s meditative. They connect us to the calm, then connect us to the true nature of being. They connect us to what’s most important; right now.
We can go through the motions of taking care of horses, we can rush and rush, which I think a lot of us do. We rush to ride, we rush to be done. But how often do you find yourself really in the moment with them? Allowing time to slow down and you slow down with it?
Someone told me “You learn from horses so who is really training who”. I thought about that for while and it is so true! Horses are one of our greatest teachers, but only if we allow it. Only if we accept that we have something to learn, somewhere to grow and improve on.
Next time, start seeing life through the lens of the horses. See how simple their existence can be in our safe fields, with all the survival requirements. They’re content, they have all they need in the moment. Maybe it’s time we start seeing how we also have all we need in this moment too.
What are your thoughts?
Readers Thoughts
“They remain attuned to the world around them while living completely peaceful in the safe moments.
As people, we carry so many moments around with us that we can’t see the present through them. The past and the future distract us from what is. Now. Here. Horses can help us to release what isn’t, and embrace what is. They have such strong and honest energy, it is impossible not to feel it when we are with them, if we are open to it. We need to allow their energy surround an embrace us; draw us in and connect us to the divine.” – Casey G.
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It starts with a good, go-to book you can fully express yourself in.
It represents you, as a horsewoman full of thoughts, dreams, goals, and desires. The blank pages are your portal to be heard, uncover and understand yourself better.
How Journaling Helps??
check out some other articles that journaling can become apart of. mindset, gratitude staying focued
This journal a birthday gift from my brother! I didn’t think I needed it but its been used for all my more personal writing and discoveries. I use it in the evening when I am decluttering my mind, gaining clarity on all that is. The things I’ve written in here have been very enlightening.
My path, my directions are slowly fading as I slowly stop moving anywhere. Why?
How do I create the once clear path infront of me again? Is it because with each step, my target seems to be taking a step farther away as well? Is it because I feel there are many different signs all leading to different goals and I want them all, but im not getting any of them.
There is a cross road, but I am in the middle of it and instead of two roads, there is about 6 of them spidering away from me. I cannot see all the way through them but I can see in the hill top in the distance what the signs read.
Which one do you choose?
The love? The enjoyment of life only? The business? The money? How do you choose what is best for you?
I want more. I want to be at peace.. Maybe that something I can have now.
I am building a puzzle. It’s not a path but an image of my entire life. One piece at a time, not necessarily a step. Each day I set one piece into the puzzle. The puzzle isn’t fixed, there is no box telling you what it looks like, it is yours to create and mold.
I feel like I’ve changed frames over and over again, the focus I set for the overall image never stays the same. Its can be the worlds hardest puzzle. Like trying to make pieces fit when every piece is grey. Without the clear image of what you want it to become, you will struggle to make anything at all.
This is where focus comes in. Your mind creates the image of the box. The clarity of each piece and where they belong comes from you understanding where you want it to go. Without you, there is no puzzle, there is no anything. Without direction, without the visualization of the future, there is no creation. The puzzle remains half attempted, changed, restarted over and over.
Maybe our lives are made up of many different puzzles? We have the hobby puzzle, we have the work puzzle, the relationship puzzle. But time and time again, we are always the one who decided the direction and the where.
How you are going to make the piece fit each day?
By knowing how it belongs in your life. By having clarity. By seeing the future you want. And by putting one piece in that puzzle. That goal puzzle. That highest self puzzle, what is a piece you can add to it today? What is the one piece? One piece at a time.
Like a puzzle, our lives are build by one at a time. One move, one moment, one decision at a time.
No matter how you feel, the sun will continue to rise. No matter how well your race was, the way you feel about yourself and your journey is all that matters.
In the grande scheme of things, what’s even the point of being nervous or having worried thoughts? Especially before a run.
You can’t control the outcome just like you can’t control when the sun comes up or goes down. Our thoughts are not connected to us. Worried thoughts are not helpful and luckily for us, we don’t have to label ourselves as them.
Disconnecting my nervous, pre race thoughts as just things my mind says to try to protect me and that they’re not truly who I am. I am not my thoughts and my world has changed.
What’s going to happen is going to happen. I just need to try my best and realize, there is nothing to be nervous about. My nervous thoughts aren’t me. The negative clutter that goes on in my head without my consent is not me.
I’m a small person on this big planet in the middle of no where trying to barrel race. I really have nothing to be nervous about, ever. Try hard, practice hard, but let the cards fall where they are going to fall. It’s a fun journey if we let it be.
I’ve also been reading @theuntetheredsoulbook and it’s been ?
What are your thoughts on what I said?! Does it make sense or not really?
